shift/change from without/producing change from within  |  happy/l.a. hyder


Don't you just hate it when you have no control -- whether it be the weather turning your hair into a frothy halo, your favorite f**k saying goodbye, idiots flying planes into the world trade center or more idiots giving an illiterate the keys to the castle...

I used to hate change. Of course, coming from a family of two Virgo parents and two Taurus kids you stay pretty planted into one place. My leaving home after college was a shock to many (remember this is 1969...), especially because I am a girl and I wasn't (and never got) married. Years later I realized how much of a shock it was to me, too, though I never told them how deeply I missed them. I felt I had no choice - it was easier to move 3,000 miles away than 3 blocks. And I never allowed myself to grieve the loss of close-range family - something we need to do no matter the agent of major change.

Hours at the ocean is where I learned about change, the constancy of change in our lives from the simple, on a clear day, to the upheaval, as the waves build and crash on shore.

The simple chosen change is obviously the easiest to handle. The upheavel is always intense and undesired. It is so unsettling that undesired change - especially when it comes from a lover and it is abrupt; i.e., they've talked with everyone, it seems, but you.

I've learned to embrace change, even to invite it - tho not always getting the results I expected or wanted. That's the trick with change. Stepping back and seeing what comes. I've also learned a way to make change easier to accept in that daily way (from psychic classes in the 80s - I am a californian of 32 years with an eclectic array of skills). Watch how you do things. Do you always put your right sock on first or go the same way to work? Try changing your patterns. Go to work a variety of ways, switch what you have for breakfast, drink your coffee or tea from a different mug. This prepares the Beta mind (the consciousness we use in daily life) for those major changes - wanted or otherwise - it helps calm our resistence to change and open our arms to it.

This doesn't, of course, mean upheaval will be easier emotionally in the first moments or days. It does mean that change will not be unfamiliar and so it will be easier to take those steps to healing, whatever the upheaval.

Ah, I just read the first writing I did on Shift one day after the attacks in NYC. A very different voice was at work - in reaction, in anger at the reactions of many, and with a different immediacy. I do, however, choose this piece to send to Bint el Nas - concluding with my deep desire that we can all keep our compassion in the face of the recent changes affecting everyone globally. And then I think, dammit, people have been dying for years, globally, because of racist economic policies - and wonder/hope this change will bring much of history to light and keep the present day making of history in the light.

My desire is that in keeping to the streets, keeping people informed who have no access to the truth we are privileged to learn, keeping on with living the path that makes us whole and gives us purpose, we will become/continue to be among the agents of change so desperately needed in the world today.

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