allah knows me   maryam laith

 

I'm a convert to Islam of 12 years. Look arab, speak Arabic, dress Arabic, live old style.

Laa wallah, aslaan ana mub 'arabiya...

I'm a newly discovered bisexual. Married to a man, loving a woman, practicing Muslimah, totally confused bisexual.

Shlonkum, akhwaati?

So who am I? Can I actually be me?

Min sidj, fee hareem mathli ana?

Can I feel my deen?

Ya'ani min ruuhi, min galbi....

I don't know. Yeah, I think so. When I pray, is it accepted? Is it real? Am I kidding myself to try and pull this off?

Wallahi, ma adri bas.

I've read and read and read some more looking for ways to rectify (justify?), to reconcile (validate?) my split personality.

Ana multazimah....ana faasiqah.

I'm starting to think it can't be done.

Which brings me back to my intro. I'm a convert to Islam of 12 years. I live Islam, feel Islam, dress Islam

Aiwa, alhijab wa kull shay.

I'm a bisexual woman. Love a woman, love a man. I'm a bisexual Muslimah. I'm just me. I know who I am.

Adri nafsi.

Allah knows who I am too.


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