el basir -- the all-seeing   hurreya a. nasser

 

She who sees herself and knows herself
knows that Allah sees her...
the one who created you and the ones
before you, the one who truly controls your
life, sustains you, loves you, protects you,
has mercy on you, is with you night and
day, the one on whom your life depends for
eternity in the Hereafter -- Allah is closer to you
than your jugular vein.


I sit down to write today, inspired by Laura.
The one who is calling us all to pray on God in this fourth issue of bint el nas.
I love fours. I love bint el nas. I love prayer. I love Laura. I love Allah.
And, Allah loves me.

It is time to write about that love.

It is a love that is, so fundamentally, about seeing. And knowing. God demands of me that I know Hir through me. God, who is complete and whole and all that is everything in this universe, is at the same time, a reflection of my specific beauty, my sense of justice, my love, my anger, my work, my pain, my joy, my desire. And, I, in my specificity, I reflect God's wholeness. We work together. We are a team. I know God, through knowing myself. I see God, by seeing myself.

In my relationship with Allah-and it is a relationship fraught with all the satisfaction and ambivalence that comes with relationships-I see myself THROUGH our relationship. Through our connection. I have to work at that connection. I have to be vigilant. I have to attend to myself. I have to remember Allah. Always, forever.

And, here's one of the many the beauties of God. Even when I'm feeling so disconnected, and so broken, and so lonely, and so far away from anyone, especially myself, Allah holds me. Always. It is my duty to remember that, and to honor that unconditional love. Through my connection with and support from God, I can learn to connect with myself, and with other people. At my most disconnected, rememberance, a most simple act of connection, can bring me back into Connection. That Connection is my gift from God. And it is my duty to God.

We ARE a good team, huh?

How do I see myself in my human relationships? I want to write about sex, about betrayal, about dancing, about learning. Learning. About being present. About being loved. Accepting love. About moving beyond shame: refusing the EGO dominance in shame. Remembering the big picture. God.

La illahillallah. There is no god but Allah. La illahillallah. Do not shape my life primarily around others' needs, others' egos, others' specificity. They are just as human and beautiful and flawed as me. Work with them. But, do not work around them. Work around God. Stay informed by God.

Allah sees. And Allah knows.

Ameen.


haadis: discuss this issue with other bintelnas readers on the message board

 
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