an evening at the movies   Lulu, Lola, and La!La!

 

the reviewers
We don't usually watch porn with friends, but for a good cause, we'll do anything. In the name of creating some visibility for queer Arab women as explicitly sexual beings -- on our own terms -- three of us decided that we would get together to talk and write about sex for Bint el Nas. Realizing that it might be hard to initiate discussion without some props, we decided to watch porn together.

lola keeps the curry

6:30 PM A rushed selection of videos from Good Vibrations, which is about to close. La!La! chooses "Alley of the Tranny Boys", directed by Christopher Lee. (She has never seen it, but it created quite a stir in the Bay Area when it first came out, so the opportunity is ripe.) Next she chooses "Isis Blue: Pt. 2 The Sequel", from Video Team Afro-centric Productions, which is in the humor section. Basically, she chooses this because it has some people of color in it. Finally, she chooses "Masturbation Memoirs Volumes One and Two", produced by House O' Chicks, from the education section.

6:45 PM Lola and Lulu are already at the restaurant. They approve of the porn. Lola makes it clear that she would like to keep any leftover curry, as she is fasting for lent and it is really the only thing she can eat that she enjoys. The food was good, though Lola felt it had been better on previous visits. Lulu passes around a couple of pictures - one of her new girlfriend, Blue, and one of her ex-girlfriend with a her pet rat, Buster.

8:00 PM Lulu, Lola and La!La! go to the drug store for a disposable camera. (Not what you're thinking).

getting to know the neighbors

8:15 PM We realize we have no one to take a picture of all of us. Lola suggests asking a neighbor. La!La! gets Lou, who she has only spoken to about three times before. He agrees to come over and take our picture. It turns out he is a gay Arab. So, even before the video starts, it is quite an evening. Thanks, Lou.

8:20 PM We start with "Alley of the Tranny Boys". Lulu reveals that she has a deep crush on Angel, one of the stars. We enjoy seeing bodies that are in various stages of transition, although we are not really into the close-up shots of anal sex. La!La! realizes she has some unresolved body hair issues and commits herself to another decade of therapy. La!La! and Lulu recognize a local punk band member in the porn, and agree she doesn't do much for them. Fellatio and anal-fisting dominate the first few scenes. Spanking sounds are heard - La!La!: "Okay, [this video] just went up one notch." Lola: "I just don't like those fisting shots!" Lulu - mentally taking notes of fisting techniques. All were proud of sensitivity used in pulling hand out.

enough cocksucking already!

Close-ups of faces are cool. The video focuses mainly on boy-boy sex, and we start to miss girls a bit. Lola says, "It's a lot of cock sucking. Enough cocksucking already!" Favorite scenes: the third scene, where Angel has his way with Buck in the tattoo parlor. It involves bondage, candle wax, knives, and golden showers. Lola is fascinated by the contraption (similar to an F.U.D.) Angel uses to piss on Buck. Note: we are absolutely quiet throughout this entire scene. We think the bathtub scene with Angel and his friend is sweet, although we get distracted from the video by our discussion of our tattoos.

The final scene, with a fag hag being fucked/fisted by one trannyfag while the she sucks Angel's toes, is really hot. We think the girl seemed really into it, and that she makes great noises. At this point, La!La! becomes paranoid that Lou can hear the porn soundtrack through the walls, but doesn't turn the volume down. Also, the bells at the church across the street start ringing, competing with the sound of the video. Is it a sign? La!La! turns up the volume.

Lulu develops a rating scale, from 1 to 10. If it's a 1, you're not turned on at all. If it's a 10, it's hot. La!La! says, "It's really not likely at all that I'm going to get to 10 with you guys sitting here!"

Lulu jots down Angel's info at the closure of the movie: "Pro dom offers training in all aspects of BDSM. For outcall only. 415-642-xxxx."

butter and salt

9:15 PM Popcorn break. La!La! does not have a microwave, and has forgotten how to make popcorn. Lola takes over popcorn production, while Lulu directs. Butter, salt, more salt (Lola), olive oil?

9:30 PM Isis Blue: Pt. 2 The Sequel, from Video Team Afro-centric Productions. This is mostly straight-boy fantasy, but it is nice to see some people of color. The plot is actually kind of complicated, it involves poison aphrodisiac strawberries, and female cops with big hair, tight pants, fake boobs, and high heels. Again, there are lots of blowjobs, and we talk about whether we enjoy seeing men cumming on women ("the money shot.") We don't, although we might enjoy some of the psychological aspects of it (the power dynamic can be hot.) Some of the girl-girl scenes are pretty kinky (think "toys r us"), but we all agree that the scene that involves the insertion and excretion of strawberries (strawberry vagina pooping) is really gross. We are just not into it. ("Bad strawberries!" says Lola). Another turn-off is that one of the women keeps growling and grunting, as if she is bricklaying, says Lulu. Lola liked the intro, which focuses on the ménage a trois dreams of the main character, but also notes that the girl-girl sex only takes place if a man is watching. "Hold on sugar, I just got another call."

We discuss the advantages of dildos over penises, and note that penises might have some virtues, too. We also talk about whether we enjoy seeing shaved coochie (kuss). Lulu and La!La! enjoy shaving as an S/M act, but we don't really like the oiled hairless look of most of the women in porn. Eventually, Isis Blue becomes repetitive and boring, and we're running out of time, since Lola has to get up early for church tomorrow.

enough harps already!

10:30 PM Masturbation Memoirs Volumes One and Two. This is an educational video about masturbation. Some women -- definitely "real" women, not oiled porn stars -- talk about their experiences with masturbation, and then masturbate on camera. The crunch factor is high - nobody is shaved, there are jeweled body suits, tea, lavender sweaters, and harp music ("Alright, enough harps!" says Lola) -- but we appreciate aspects of the video, even if it's not really porn. The introduction to this video suggests showing it to your kids, but we wonder whether a vibrator would be intimidating to young people, or if it would discourage them from exploring with hands, etc. Lulu enjoys hearing the women talk about their experiences masturbating, and even the noises they make as they get off, but doesn't really want to see them doing it. We all appreciate the story of Guadalupe of San Francisco, ("Go Guadalupe!" says Lola) a Latina woman who talks about growing up feeling ashamed of her sexuality. She has gone from a woman ashamed to a woman masturbating on video with a high tech vibrator. Female ejaculation!! At one point we talked about whether we would ever want to be in a porn video. Making it could be fun, but showing it would probably not be an option.

uterus, by lulu

hitachi my love

We have a little discussion about uteruses during this video: what uterine prolapse is, where your uterus is, and whether we have ever felt our own or another woman's cervix. Lulu even draws an inspired picture of uterus. Naturally, this video sparks a discussion of our own masturbation experiences, which causes some blushing. La!La! confesses that she first understood the full potential of her clit after her parents got a shower massage. We were all happy to hear that Lulu has had a long-term relationship with Hitachi. "Hitachi and me go way back," she says.

11:00 PM Time to go home. La!La! waves good-bye while Lola and Lulu speed into the night. An evening well worth the video rental fee. We hope you agree.



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